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12/27/06 11:34 pm

so yeah.. changing a good amount of things on here.. and what not. 

so, again, movie night sometime soon. collecting all the girls, making popcorn.. etc. fun fun. um..  i think i am going to stop using this account on here, due to many reasons. so yeah.. if i care to read your journals, you will have to add my other account. if i obviously don't care, sorry for checking for new adds. >>

and if i don't add you, and feel you should have been, email me in the next... oh, two weeks at most. i'll be killing my email addy too. 

12/11/06 03:34 pm

i never want to go to another club in my life. last night was just a pain in the ass.. found out earlier how much of a whore Jen really is.. how many people she has slept with...

i think smoking pot again was a very, very bad idea. things have just.. gone farther down hill. everything i do turns out to be a pretty bad mistake lately.. just bad choices. so yeah.. i'm saying sorry ahead of time. XD


12/10/06 01:34 pm

i have cut my hair yet again. but this time, so far, everyone likes it. big difference..

i was going to shave it -short- and dye it leopard print.. but turned out with this instead.

Jen is talking about going to Seattle to go to Club Heaven tonight.. seattle? hmm... still not too sure.

i think i'm just going to try and calm down for a bit, stop worrying about every last thing. been freaking out some people around me. also have been pushing people out again.. i need to stop doing that. -__-; i'm an idiot, forgive me. (Lol)

so yeah, just slap me if i seem to be acting a bit idiotic, k people? it'll help.


12/6/06 08:01 am

met with Ben's rep. yesterday.. i left there a little .. fucked in the head. i did good i guess, so says Juelie, but jesus.

'bout ready to hang myself. honestly..

and again, i am to be pushed aside like nothing.

anyone got a rope?

12/1/06 04:16 pm

i have been deathly sick... and on my ass for days now (only a few really.. but staying inside with a kid for a few days straight... hmm)

starting to really freak out about the case now. but eh.

saw someone who looked exactly like my lyshma, but turned out that it was not... just an extreme look alike... and now i am missing my lyshma.

stop by Jen's, lysh. see me. please?

11/19/06 03:40 pm

don't let me do this, dear god...

i'm going to fucking lose it.

someone help me

11/14/06 01:08 pm

So last i ended up drugging myself up to sleep. I got sick of trying to sleep about 2. It was kinda like a blank, black sleep for a bit.. then it was like i was thinking, and every thought had visuals. They weren't very clear, rather distorted. Then there was this loud crash, and it woke me instantly. just.. made my heart jump into my throat. i stayed still, just lying there, until my heartbeat slowed, listening to nothing.

i feel like shit, but not tired in the least. ugh. Sunday wasn't as bad.. 'someones' dad came to my house in the dream, bringing me flowers for some reason i can't recall, then sat me down to talk seriously about his son.. i can't remember what was said at all.

Julie actually is going to dismiss it. like.. it never happened at all. all she said was 'get counseling,' and that was it. why the hell even try?

i love you lysh. just... i'll get ahold of you. maybe this Friday..? i bet you want to know what the hell is going on, eh?

11/3/06 09:06 am

rah.. my body is like torn to shit now. Lol.. i think this next week i'm going to be as inactive as possible.. mostly because i don't think my poor bag of bones can take much more. o.o

so yeah, as long as you don't say anything along the lines of  'are you ok,' or 'i'm so sorry,' i'll talk with you. k? i'm fine, everything is kosh now.

i just needed one person to be there for me.. ^__^ much <3 to you, dear.

10/23/06 12:32 pm - Heh..

So i managed to piss off a good handful of people yesterday, all of which happened to be people i don't really want to have mad at me.. 

i always have this skill of trashing on those i care about when i'm upset like that. Meh.. i was just so fucking angry, and i directed that anger at a lot of people who didn't deserve it at all.. it turned out to be one of those days that not even one little thing would work for me, like everything was meant to piss me off. I even had my first breakdown this year... over nothing. ^__^ which of course, in turn, pissed me off even more. So then i decided to clean my entire fucking house until i was exhausted. 

and then, out of no where.. i just started laughing. just couldn't seem to find anything but funny. 


i just fucking suck. Lol.

10/22/06 03:17 pm

so yeah, the dance.. icked. 

yes, icked. 

i guess my plans are up in the air now.. since people still are incapable of answering that lovely device known as a telephone. meh.. just a bit irritated. >.>

haha.. my only other option is the invitation by chadd's ex-gf to go to her place and drink beer with her. o.o yaaaay.  so wrapping it up, i'll be at home all day. maybe start ignoring phone calls as well.. just leave to go to school, but all in all stay home. avoid work and stupid stalker persons, avoid BR time since everyone is becoming obsessive and getting ahold of my phone number.. and ick. just sit, read, and get fat from eating too much candy. 

-sigh- which reminds me. Lyshma, if you read this, i have an 11-3:00 shift tomorrow at the BR. if you still wanna hang out, we can. i just fuck off when i'm working there anyway. 

love you guys and whatnot. 

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